Friday, May 20, 2011

The Boy Who Was In an Open Relationship

We all have been on that one date after which we are left wondering if the world is still round. I went on one around the beginning of April. Although I have taken myself off the Online Dating site a few weeks ago because of exams, but I left with a few contacts up my sleeve. I had been talking to one since a few days so I thought it would be cool if we meet up. I had just given a test and I needed to unwind. This guy had been asked me out once but I turned him down because I had started getting interested in Josh and I wanted to give it a real shot so no meeting or talking to other guys. But Ryan convinced me that as long as I'm not committed I can meet other guys and I should. So I took him up for a pizza date!

"Why Dominos?", I asked him.

"I like it much more than Pizza Hut, plus it was the only one that was equidistant from both of our places!", he told me blankly. He was familiar with my location as his aunt lived a few streets away from my house. "You don't like Dominos?"

"I tried it once a long time ago and didn't like it at all. Pizza Hut is the best!", I told him.

"I once fucked a guy who worked as a delivery boy!", he said with a smile.

"Was it some porn inspired fantasy?", I smirked. "The delivery boy delivers!", I didn't entirely believe it, but what the heck.

"More like the delivery boy got delivered", he said sternly. He didn't like when I once referred to him as a 'Bottom' during a chat session. My bet was that he secretly loved getting bumped but didn't want to admit it because it may in some ridiculous way lessen his masculinity. It would best not to pick on his last nerve.

We talked for quite a while about the guys we usually date. He loved the blowjob story, "Remind me not to ask you for a blowjob!", he joked.

"I don't think I would need to remind you. The story has a mind burning effect!". I was not interested in him in the boyfriend sense but in cases that I feel that the guy might have been committed at some point, I do ask. "Have you ever been committed?"

"Funny you should ask!", he said with a smile. "Don't judge me on this but I am in an open relationship!"

Believe me when I say that I tried really really hard not to judge him, but I couldn't hold myself back. "I'm sorry. Open relationship?"

"Since about a year!", he adds. He was still smiling, I really could not figure out if the smile was awkward or kind of embarrassed. But it wasn't a happy smile. Did that make sense?

"Okay, so how's it going?", I asked him. I was too engrossed in him to even chew.

"I don't know!", he tells me.

"Do you even want to be in an open relationship?", I ask him.

"Maybe. It gives me the choice of who I want to meet and if I want to do anything with him, but I don't like it!", he reasoned.

"And how does your boyfriend feel about it?", I asked him lowering my voice.

"He loves it. He was the one who suggested it. I thought we should get into a proper relationship but he said let's keep it open at first and if it's meant to be, it will be!", he shrugged his shoulders.

There was this awkward silence after he told me the last bit of information. "So what do your dates usually say after you tell them this little clunker?", I asked.

"I don't tell them. You are the second guy I have told. I don't want to tell people that I am involved in an open relationship!", he told me blankly. "We meet and if I like him, we meet a couple times more. Then we meet up for sex, as simple as that!"

"Oh and if either of us think anybody is really worth it, we tell the other person to check him out as well!", he added.

I was really speechless after that. Here was this super good-looking guy who wanted an exclusive relationship but was involved in an open relationship. "Why don't you dump him and actually get involved with someone for real?", I asked him.

"I'm super picky about looks. I don't like how most people look to love them." he tells me.

"So your just with him because he looks really good?", I asked him for confirmation.

"Yeah!", he confirmed. "I bet you think of me as shallow!",

"And stupid!", I said angrily. "It's really none of my business to tell you what to do but you are not going to get anything out of it besides some STD!"

"What's STD?", he asked. "Short term something?"

I had to consciously lower my voice because every nerve in my body was pulsating with the impulse to scream at him. "Sexually Transmitted Disease! Where are you living? Do you even use protection when having sex?"

"At times!", he told me.

"Dude, use protection and get into a real relationship. You're frigg'in 22, you should know better!" I told him and walked away. I was really frustrated for having wasted my time over such a knucklehead. I really don't think he would be dumping his so-called boyfriend anytime soon. I didn't text him after the date but we have been in touch through the social networking site. I feel like asking him if he's still involved but it's best that I do not. There is a very good chance that I will actually hunt him down and kill him. Besides if anything had actually happened, I have a feeling he would have mentioned it to me.

How can people be so stupid?! 


Juanne-Pierre said...

Some people are afraid. Afraid of being alone that they will do just about anything - even when they themselves don't want to - to try hold onto a back up plan.
I prefer commitment for two very simple reasons;
Juggling more than one boyfriend would be like trying to stuff an already full suitcase with more clothes... i just dont have the tenacity for that kind of juggling.
and two - I love to be in love.

Cool Post

Aaron Khan said...

There r many gay guys who r just into looks. also there will b many guys who wanna b in an open relation. u need 2 stop takin it personally :) sure it sucks dat ppl have their priorities so twisted, but come on. there r wierdos all around. dont go hunting n killing them :)

Hadi Hussain said...

Hahahahahaha i am actually laughing my lungs out. Oooo my my Phunk Factor kya banay ga tera ray? I used to be like this, once upon a time, ab to aisa mentally/intellecutally perverted hua haun k bus, lols. I agree with Aaron Khan on the individual preferences.But Safe Sex is very important and that's what every individual, straight or gay need to realise and value. I remember someone saying, "Condom kay sath maza nae aata na." and i bitchslap him and tried to counsel him. And Pizza na Pizza hut ka na Dominos ka, Lahore aa tujhay aisa fit pizza khila dena hai kay bus teray hosh urdh janay hain teray :)

Phunk Factor said...

@ Juanne-Pierre

Oh wow! I didn't think of it like that...and it is probably true! But even that doesn't justify to be in a relationship when you are unsatisfied!

And I must say, I completely agree with ur reasons to be committed! :D

@ Aaron Khan

But still would u prefer to be in a relationship with a really really good looking guy if ur not getting out of it what u want?!

I'd hunt u...but won't klll u..and for an entirely different reason!

@ Hadi Hussain

My time will also come...u just wait and see! I'll be more mentally/intellectually perverted than you! :p

Sure long as the delivery boy delivers...or the chef...whichever of the two ur going to be?! :p

Sam August said...

short term sometihng.. buahahhahaha.. no wonder hez in a "open" relationship.. dumbo!

n ps, good looks can only take a relationship so far, to walk the rest u need a good heart ;p cheesy enough but aint it true?

Phunk Factor said...

@ Sam August

LOL..i know! I laughed a little when I recalling it for writing this post!!

N's true despite all the cheesiness!

I never knew u cud be so deep...must have been the bare foot walking that humbled u!

editor said...

@phunk really.. there are guys who just go for looks.. and it is these kind of guys who can never be in a relationship ever.. because believe me, looks can only help to attract at first sight... one gets bored of the same face, because THERE ARE ALWAYS better and hotter men around.. so unless u r not together with the person because of who he is, it shall never last.

I myself cannot fathom how people can be in an open relation. Better call tehm fck buddies, be brave enough to say the truth.

And u know.. there is this gay guy at my office with whom I used to hang out.. and what he believes is AIDS can spread by touching and all.. And i s wanted to slap him then and there... he is frigging 28 yrs, an MBA.. and this is his knowledge on such important topic.. when 2 of his friends are suffering from the disease!!!!!

Anch Garav said...

Two words, Wow and interesting. Its rare to see a man express himself on a blog and you did it so beautifully, that i felt i was living the scene! (WOW); And yup the world has different characters (interesting).... your reaction on this one was "bullseye"! bravo. I shall definately read more of your posts now with morning coffee ofcourse. YOu got one more hooked! :)

Phunk Factor said...

@ Editor

Probably and quite definitely but he was unhappy in the relationship...i hope that he realizes tht he's worth more than it and actually get into a serious relationship...but yes for that to happen, he needs to loose the superficial streak!

But yes, the fact that he didn't know about STDs was simply alarming! I'm actually considering now to call him up and explaining him certain peculiarities...and i have a nasty feeling that his boyfriend isn't very much up on this topic either!

@ Anch Garav favorite thing in the world...besides boys obviously! :p